Small penises have feelings too.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
