Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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