HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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