No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Pooping to opera.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
