i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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