you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
