Nicole vs. Life
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
