Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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