people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
