your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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