recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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