Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
