if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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