he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
