You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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