Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
