they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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