i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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