Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
