The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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