youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
