Screwed.edu
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
