Cold hands, warm shart.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
