We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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