i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
