anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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