I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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