yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
