I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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