She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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