so that wasnt chicken after all
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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