I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
