My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
