I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
