Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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