Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
