so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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