Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
