I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
