You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
