I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
