Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
