i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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