his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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