I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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