He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
