Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
