is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
