I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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