sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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