yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
