Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
