My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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