either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
